The Adventures of Lily and Logan: 15 seconds of pure Logan hilarity

Real Quotes

Lily: "When we're outside the wind will get in my hair. And my hair will get in my eyes. And I won't see. So I'll lose you forever........ So.... I need a barrette."

Logan: "Can we eat lobsters one day? They look fun. But they'll chomp chomp me with their claws."

Lily: "I'm all tangled up... like a crazy person!"

Lily: "If I was a tree I'd be one with pink flowers!"

Logan: (looking perplexed) "But then you couldn't talk!"

Lily: "Oh. Well, I'd be a talking tree!"

Logan: "Why is that one fly giving that other fly a piggy back ride?"

Mommy: "Ummm....."

Logan: "Is it because it's fun?"

Mommy: "Yes! That's exactly why. It's fun."

Logan: "Can I play fairies with you Lily?"

Lily: "If you want to play with me, you have to listen to MY rules!"

Logan: "Ummm.... I'm going to play super heroes over here by myself."

Lily: "Babies are magical!"

Mom: "Why?"

Lily: "Because you have to wait and wait for them to come out!"

Logan: (exiting the Lincoln tunnel into the city)"This isn't New York City. Is this a different New York City? These are weird looking buildings? Where are the good looking buildings?"

Lily: "My sister loves my hop hop dance."

(Her imaginary sister Emily.)

Mom: "So what's a hip hop dance?"

Lily: "I don't know, but she loves it."

Logan: "I'm a superhero. And you're a superhero cat!"

Lily: "I'm a princess cat!"

Logan: "You're a princess FIGHTING cat! And that's so cool. Right Lily"

Lily: "Uh huh."

Logan: "Now let's go fight those bad cats under the curtains with our laser spoons."

Logan: "Say ahhh. Now I can put FIRE and BLOOD in your mouth!!"

Mommy: "What??"

Logan: "I'm the best kind of doctor. Now you disappeared!"

Lily: "My stroller is running out of power. I need to stop and get gas."

Logan: "I'm getting all the bad guys! All the bad chickens and all the bad crabs."

Lily: "I love everything that's so beautiful... rainbows and grocery stores and sparkly trees!"

Logan: "Where should I put my sunglasses? You know the best places Lily."

Lily (playing with a baby doll): "I better need to change my baby again. She's having so many poops!"

Lily (talking about her Hello Kitty lip balm she's had in the package since June): "I want to open it after we go to Texas. But not on Tuesday."

Logan (playing superheroes using his superhero voice): "My secret lair is in... my belly button!"

Logan (in the bath): "My tushy has a hole in it!"

Lily: "You know who has a hook? Captain Hook! He's a very angry person!"

Lily to Mommy: "You did a good job helping us... make rice christmas treats."

Logan: "I need you to buy me a papaya okay? And a new broom. I need to eat and sweep."

Lily: "Take everything off that [table]. I need to clean it with this towel. This is not a joke."

Logan to Lily: "I have an idea... why don't I make you happy by playing my guitar."

Lily: "Logan's impossible!"

Logan: "I'm hungry for school."

Lily: "I hate to say it Mommy, but I have to go now. See you later and don't be afraid. I will come back for you."

Logan: "Mommy, you're the best washer ever! Because you always wash my stuff!"

Lily: "My bunny's name is Cat. My cat's name is Bunny!"

Logan: "My monkey's name is Silly Billy. My dinosaur is named Helper. And my banana name is Silly Hair Banana!!"

Lily to Daddy: "I want an iPad... yesterday."

Logan to Mommy: "Your armpits smell like roses. That's cool."

Lily: "I love Bailey too. Though... he's a pooper. He's stinky. He poops all the times!"

Lily: "We're having hot coffee milk. It's called hot coffee milk. Say it with me Mama... Cof-f-ee milk. Good. Now please pour some more for me."

Logan: "Lily, do you want to go on an adventure with me?"

Lily: "Uh huh."

Logan: "We can shoot bad guys, and ride in a truck and watch the cars... like the red ones and the blue ones. Won't it be so exciting Lily?"

Lily: "Well.... maybe."

Lily: "Crabs. I'm scared of the strawberry crabs!"

Logan: "You scared of the crabs?"

Lily: "Yes!!"

Logan: "That's ok, I'll protect you with my super super power. I guess."

Lily: (To Logan) "Uh oh. You just drank the magic!"

Lily: "My eyeeee. It huurrrts!"

Mommy: "Why does it hurt?"

Lily: "Cause I'm poking it."

Logan: "The carrot is gonna get sad in the trash because carrots don't like smelly trash."

Logan: "Daddy's window is closed because we don't want the scary spiders to climb on the trees."

Lily: "I'm not watching you guys. I'm doing my job. My job is cleaning... all the animals."

This one is for Grandma...

Lily: "These are our muscles (points to biceps) and these are our stinky pits! (points to armpits)"

Logan: (in the airport men's room) "Lots of things in the bathroom are automagic!"

Logan: "Look at my big nose!"

Lily: "If you say so."

Logan: "Daddy's train has got dirt on it... disgusting!"

Lily: "If you want cupcakes you have to give me money... from your piggy bank."

Logan: "Ok, but if I give you all my money then you have all the money."

Lily: "Yep."

Logan: "How 'bout I give you this yellow frog instead?"

Lily: "Why you getting regular? I want strawberry gas."

Mommy: "They don't make strawberry gas."

Lily: "It would taste better."

Mommy: "But we don't drink gas."

Lily: "Well... the car does."

Lily (to Logan): "I just patted your head 'cause you're cute."

Lily: "I love babies. Babies are my favorite. You have to be nice to babies. Don't scare them."

Logan: "Yeah when we to Texas we can't scare babies."

Lily: "Because babies are sweet."

Lily: "I don't want to talk to Logan anymore because I talk to Logan a lot!... Logan talks SO much!"

Logan: "Oh Lily but I want to talk to you some more."

Lily: "Ok. One talking!"

Logan: "Um. Um. Um, eyebrows are like worms. On my head."

Lily: "Ok. No more talking now. You can talk to me again tomorrow."

Logan: "If I don't brush my teeth my teeth are going to DROP... on the carpet!"

Ants on the sidewalk:

Logan: "There are so many of them!"

Lily: "Ew!"

Logan: "Look at that one!"

Lily: "Oh gross!"

Logan: "I want to touch one!"

Lily: "Oh no, there's one trying to get on my shoe!"

Logan: "They're so cool!!"

Lily: "I just don't like the ants!"

Logan: "Horses are horses and people are farmers."

Lily: "When I'm bigger I can have flowers on my phone."

Logan (to Mommy): "When you exercise outside and you run do you chase yourself?"

Lily: "I want to do ballet in a class and I want to do ballet at home. I want to do ballet all the time. Because I love it."

Logan: "Is Daddy naked at the gym?"

Mommy: "No silly."

Logan: "Oh. He put on a shirt?"

Mommy: "Yes."

Logan: "Good."

Lily: "I want a baby sister. And until... until I get one I'm pretending Logan's a girl."

Mommy: "Sorry hon but I'm all done having babies."

Lily: "You won't have any more babies in your belly?"

Mommy: "Nope."

Lily: "Oh. Maybe I'll get a baby sister in my belly."

Logan: "I love you Lily. You're my best friend!"

Lily: (Looking at Mommy's plate) "An artichoke is a vegetable that looks like an ice cream."

Mommy: "What's your raccoon's name?"

Logan: "Uh... C... L... R"

Mommy: "As in clear?"

Logan: "No! C. L. R."

Mommy: "Does it stand for crazy little raccoon?"

Logan: "No, he's just C.L.R."

Mommy: "Ok."

Lily: "I only like warm weather clouds. Because the cold clouds aren't nice. Not one bit!"

Logan: "That car has a mustache!"

(pointing to the front of this car: http://www.bmwusa.com/standard/content/vehicles/2012/1/default.aspx)

Logan: (five minutes later): "Mustaches are scary. Especially on elephants."

Lily: "That's a moon rock. It's so pretty and white. The moon must be broken."

Logan: "I'm gonna be a space pirate!"

Lily: "But I'm scared of the space pirate."

Logan: "Oh. Me toooo."

Logan: "I made something for you. It's a scary ghost washing machine! And there's something inside of there."

Mommy: "Is it scary dirty laundry?"

Logan: (laughs) "You're so silly Mommy. No. It's the big bad wolf."

Lily: "Ms. Daddy! Ms. Daddy!"

Daddy: "I'm not 'Ms.' Daddy. I'm just Daddy."

Lily: "Just Daddy! Just Daddy!"

Logan: "I really do not like that little black bug. It wants to take my underwear!"

Lily: "I like home. It's my favorite place to live."

Logan: "That rock is staring at me!"

Lily: "I have a bag with books and I'm going to work. I'm taking the bus to work in New York City!"

Logan: "Can I come too?"

Lily: "No. You work in the kitchen."

Logan: "Can I be a chef?"

Lily: "Um... yeah. Ok. Make me chocolate pudding."

Thursday, March 3, 2011

15 seconds of pure Logan hilarity

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